The most important lesson I’ve learned
You guys know what life has been like for me over the last year. With dad’s death in September and then loosing Tammy in March, I’ve had a hell of a ride. Not a day goes by that I’m not having some sort of emotional moment. But through all of this I’ve learned a lot about myself and about the life I’ve created for myself. This weekend I think I learned the most important lesson so far.
Life is much to fragile to live it with black spots on your soul.
Let me explain.
When Tammy and I first met I was in a 14 year relationship with someone else. We were having many problems and the relationship was slowly coming to an end. Meeting Tammy sped the end up. The final breakup was not good and it got pretty ugly. Well I hadn’t seen or talked to her in the four years that I had Tammy in my life. During that four years I had thought about getting in touch with her, Tammy and I had even talked about it. But I was to afraid and didn’t do it. On Saturday she was at Twin Lakes for dad’s ceremony. I’m so glad she was there. We were able to spend some time together and I believe that we were able to heal the wounds that we had created four years earlier. I feel that a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders and the black spot that was on my soul has been replaced with a new light. I hope that we can now have a long friendship and be able to spend some time together again doing some of the things that we loved to do together.
So, if any of you are to afraid to come to terms with a black spot on your soul, think about my dad, Tammy and me. Before we knew what hit them, it was to late to do anything about it and they were gone. I know that it’s a cliché to say “Live every day like it’s your last” but who knows, it could be your last day. And even worse, it could be the last day of the person who you are holding a grudge against. And then you have to live the rest of your life knowing that there was that ugly black spot on both of your souls. So if you have a situation like that, call them, tell them you’re sorry and then get together with them and give each other a huge hug. Trust me, it works wonders. I found that out on Saturday.
And by the way guys, have I told you lately how much I love having all of you as friends. Thanks for being here for me through all of the years I’ve ran this site, and especially for the last 16 months.
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Steven, you are such a gem. Thanks for letting us in on some of the most important parts of your life. It helps me to live mine with more–what’s the word?–exactness. Openess? Willingness? I don’t know what can really fit without it going flat or, as you said, sounding cliche. But it IS real, and I very much appreciate that. Thanks!
Steven: It is very apparent that you are extremely comfortable in your own "skin". You have the ability to show your strength and weakness all at the same time. We can all take a lesson from you. Thanks for sharing, and helping us.
Steven,
I only recently discovered your site but in that short period of time I have felt blessed by your words and beautiful images.
Hey to you again, Steve! Wow! It sounds like this season of your life has brought you into a greater depth and appreciation of this fragile place called earth. Indeed, change is inevitable and we each must learn to live in the moments of our day. We need to cherish them and to find the oppportunities that God presents and embrace them fully. May you continue to unfold to receive the Lord’s purpose for your life there in Bishop. Continue to be Blessed and know that you are actually a pretty important part of our lives, too….! Lisa
Thank you for those words of wisdom. You are a wise man.
Steven, Your words were very touching. Life is short, and fragile. When we can lift our spirit, it lights all parts of our life. Friendship is a very special thing in this life. I have been blessed. S.L.
Hi Steven — Thank you for your willingness to be so open and vulnerable in looking at the world; for sharing with us your heartfelt words and images in such vivid detail.
Life is indeed precious; every moment to be treasured, savored and appreciated. Sometimes the darkness appears to make us appreciate the light even more. And indeed, another day is dawning for you now. New life and expansive horizons. Even in such times of loss and grief, you have been given a marvelous gift — a chance to seek and receive forgiveness.
May you continue to find peace and joy in the beauty of the Sierra. You are really loved and appreciated!
Kahlee
As everyone else has said, thanks for sharing this with us. I’m sure Tammy is looking down at you right now and just smiling. Life is strange and it seems that sometimes things do happen for a reason. All of us have had good and bad times but it’s so nice to be able to share them with everyone and again, we thank you for that. Enjoy each day as it comes…..
I can so relate to your wonderful words of wisdom. My hubby turned 70 last fall and we planned a surprise Bar B Q for him. The main surprise was to have been his older sis (age 75)that he had been on the outs with since 1982. She couldn’t make it but called 2 days before and they both had a wonderful phone reunion. Neither could remember exactly what angered them in the first place. They’re both stubborn but it only took our kids inviting her to break the ice. He was very surprised and happy when she called — they both had a crying good time. The surprise BBQ went well, too. He had no idea anything was planned and saw many others from times past!
He and his sis talk on the phone a couple times a week and
I’m happy to say that it isn’t over yet–she’ll be here from Ohio for 2 weeks in June Some of our kids will meet an aunt they’d only seen in pictures! You’re right when you say life is fragile–and Life is Good!
I’ve laughed with you and cried with you and Tammy. Thanks for sharing your life, photos and writings. Thanks, too for an opportunity for me to tell about one of our life’s wonderful warm times.
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The forgetmenots looked up to heaven with their meek blue eyes